5 reasons why you should NEVER date me.

I'm single again, so a couple weeks ago I was just thinking about what to post, and I came across with the idea of writing the how-I-went-back-to-single-again story, but I thought that would be a little distasteful for MANY people, so I decided to post about some of the little things I THINK someone else might find annoying about myself and my habits. Not a pro-con list, but just a "con-list" if you can call it like that. So, shall we begin?

1. I'm a musician.

This one might be considered like a pro, also, 'cause that gaves me extra points for romanticism (at least I think). EXCEPT when you are actually capable of getting past the "ZOMFG you're a MUSICIAN?!" crust and look into THOSE FILTHY DETAILS:
-I hum. ALL THE TIME. Like, for real, and if I'm not humming, I'm singing out loud. It might be just a song that I happenned to remember at the time, or one that I'm actually listening to, or just really some random tune with random lyrics over it, it can be anything. And I can't help it, it usually happens when I'm distracted, or bored, or stressed. The worst thing about it is that people might actually think I'm not paying attention at all, even when I am. And if I'm not actually humming or singing, MY BRAIN IS. IT JUST FUCKING NEVER STOPS.

-Too much time at pubs. Either playing, soundchecking or gig-dealing, my night life basically sums up to night clubs and pubs, and when I finish that gig, I usually rush back home 'cause I'm so tired that I really don't feel like doing anything else.
-I have to carry shitloads of equipment. AND I'M GONNA ASK FOR HELP.
-EXPENSIVE equipment. I wish I was a regular girl with regular expenses. You know, shoes, purses, clothes, makeup. I mean I do spend on it and I like it, but usually my money goes RIGHT INTO MY GEAR INVESTMENTS. Strings, picks, straps, cables, spare parts for guitars, microphones, stands, pedals, amps... so might your god helps you if you HAVE to give me a present, 'cause that shit's expensive. You probably would like it more to return to the classic girlfriend gift list, trust me, it WILL be better for your pocket.
-I'm going to die poor, filthy and wasted.

2. I'm ridiculously honest.

If I don't like something, YOU WILL KNOW, for sure. Not because I'm gonna make you notice it by the way I act, BUT BECAUSE I'M GONNA TELL YOU, right at your face. That's the way I was raised and I'm sorry, you should probably blame my parents for it. Sometimes I've been at the dangerous limit between honesty and pure rudeness. It would be just ok if my "not-to" list wasn't as stupidly long as it is, and not so filled with nonsense-based points.

3. Punctual is not exactly my second name.

I get late basically EVERYWHERE. I was born with a 2-week delay (true story), so go figure. Not only that, but I have also a crazy wild imagination which derives to an overflowing creative spirit, SO I MAKE UP THE MOST INCREDIBLE, AWESOME EXCUSES.

4. I'm a mess of a person.

I swear. A lot. Like all the time. Even when I'm not supposed to, I do. And I know it just sounds awful on girls, but I seriously don't give a shit about it. It's like "hey, it's me, if you don't fucking like it then don't talk to me, bitch". Also, I'm not organized, my room is a mess, my life is a mess, my lifestyle is a mess, even my relationships are a damn fucking mess. I'm a declared quitter, a coward, and a lazy cow.

5. If procrastinating was a professional degree, I'll have a Master on it.

You're reading the proof.
So, I'm gonna die poor.

Please reconsider, for your own good, PLEASE.