C-C-C-CHRISTMAS TIME!!

I know, for many many many of you Christmas is a consumist-oriented holiday full of hipocrisy. A time of the year that you don't really enjoy because you end up spending your time with people that, despite blood relationships, they have absolutely nothing to do with you, you don't give a single crap about them and they probably don't give a single crap about you, either.
And you might be right. And maybe I'm agree with all of you, 'cause I do feel there's a lot of bullshit going on this time of year, but you know what? I've come to realize that the real problem here is PEOPLE.
So let people fuck with each other, and try to worry and send your love to the people you really care about, they will appreciate it.
I'm one of those who decided to not give a fuck about nothing at all, eat like a starved politic refugee, and practically swim in vodka-based cocktails while singing ridiculous chaotic christmas carols, knocking down Santa Claus's and Virgin Mary's figurines, bugging the fuck out of my relatives and doing a mess with the tree decorations.
Why?

BECAUSE I CAN.

And my message to all of you out there who shove your heads into your turtle shell through the whole season:

Have a wonderful christmas, get so drunk that you don't remember practically anything at all.

Doubts.

Almost all the time I act like I have not the slightest doubt. About anything.
But I do, I really do.
And I don't know how to act, most of the time. I'm doing things for this to move forward and for us to become something, and I'm so SO scared of the final outcome of this.'Cause I'm not really playing safe here.
I'm so full of doubts now. All the time. It wasn't like that before. I don't even know why I'm writing all of this, it really won't solve anything. I think I just had to let it out.
I hope there's something down there on the road for us.

My birthday.

SO. I just turned 24 on november the 28th. Every single year, since I'm 18, I throw a party for my birthday. And this year wasn't the exception. BUT IT WAS A LITTLE  DIFFERENT.
I was a little reluctant about doing this party home, 'cause I live like in suburbia, away from town, and it's a little hard to get here if you don't have a car, but I really didn't had any other place to do it, so I called all the buddies I could -I like, how'd I tell you, MASSIVE RABID HARDCORE PARTIES- came home, and waited.
After a while my friends (my usual, all-time, best-of-the-best friends) arrived, and those 8-9 people are JUST ENOUGH to make a hella big mess, so the party began.
This is a graphic summary of how my party went, chronologically.

SO NOW, there are several theories of what happened during that blackout. All I can tell for sure is that someone knocked on my door, I opened it, and a huge bunch of people dressed in black came in. A facebook acquaintance, which my friends say I asked him his name around 5 times, along with his friends. Then my dog went all crazy and ran away, so we went chasing for her. I said "we" but what I did was actually stand in my yard for I don't know how long, waiting for my friends to get her back home. They found her so we went inside again. 

Then black. 

Then me, my girls, and the bathroom, with me throwing up, of course. 

Then my angry mother, pulling me off the floor, yelling at me and locking me inside my room. 

Then black, again.
And the next morning. A burning hell, made a huge mess, having to be awake before 11:00 AM and heading straight down a soundcheck for a gig that same night.


MY BIRTHDAY ALWAYS FUCKING ROCKS.