Don't cry. *Updated*

I don't even know how to start telling you this without looking like a passive-agressive bitch. I know what I want to talk about but I'm not sure how should I do it.

There was a time I thought I could get anything if I struggled hard enough for it. Turns out things are not always like that. 

There was a time I thought I could represent something for someone. Turns out that I always seem to give too much of myself.

I've always thought that women should be a different way of what they actually are, and I always forget the fact that they're not. And in the meantime I became my own type of girl, and it doesn't matches the rest. I can't stay still waiting for something I want to come by itself. I just go after it. No matter how much it takes. 

I can't manage the fact that there are quiet shy girls that never chase after ANYTHING, and apparently life seems to give them all. A good job, a good lifestyle, good friends, surrounded by good people that loves them and takes care of them and they're always at hand in case they want or need something.

'Cause I'm not like that.

I'm not shy, nor quiet. I became an alpha female, a pack leader, a little bit of a lone wolf. It may seem great but being like this comes with a prize. Which is the fact that you realize that you could never, EVER, become like those girls, and that no one is going to be there and offer you EXACTLY what you need or want, when you need it or want it, because they know you're going to go find it by yourself.

But it is not always like that.

There are certain things you can't get just by yourself.

I don't think it's fair.

I'm getting tired of being a predator.

****UPDATE****

This is one of those songs you come across randomly in your mp3 player and all of a sudden you realize they say EXACTLY what you want.

TELL THEM, GORDON.

5 reasons why you should NEVER date me.

I'm single again, so a couple weeks ago I was just thinking about what to post, and I came across with the idea of writing the how-I-went-back-to-single-again story, but I thought that would be a little distasteful for MANY people, so I decided to post about some of the little things I THINK someone else might find annoying about myself and my habits. Not a pro-con list, but just a "con-list" if you can call it like that. So, shall we begin?

1. I'm a musician.

This one might be considered like a pro, also, 'cause that gaves me extra points for romanticism (at least I think). EXCEPT when you are actually capable of getting past the "ZOMFG you're a MUSICIAN?!" crust and look into THOSE FILTHY DETAILS:
-I hum. ALL THE TIME. Like, for real, and if I'm not humming, I'm singing out loud. It might be just a song that I happenned to remember at the time, or one that I'm actually listening to, or just really some random tune with random lyrics over it, it can be anything. And I can't help it, it usually happens when I'm distracted, or bored, or stressed. The worst thing about it is that people might actually think I'm not paying attention at all, even when I am. And if I'm not actually humming or singing, MY BRAIN IS. IT JUST FUCKING NEVER STOPS.

-Too much time at pubs. Either playing, soundchecking or gig-dealing, my night life basically sums up to night clubs and pubs, and when I finish that gig, I usually rush back home 'cause I'm so tired that I really don't feel like doing anything else.
-I have to carry shitloads of equipment. AND I'M GONNA ASK FOR HELP.
-EXPENSIVE equipment. I wish I was a regular girl with regular expenses. You know, shoes, purses, clothes, makeup. I mean I do spend on it and I like it, but usually my money goes RIGHT INTO MY GEAR INVESTMENTS. Strings, picks, straps, cables, spare parts for guitars, microphones, stands, pedals, amps... so might your god helps you if you HAVE to give me a present, 'cause that shit's expensive. You probably would like it more to return to the classic girlfriend gift list, trust me, it WILL be better for your pocket.
-I'm going to die poor, filthy and wasted.

2. I'm ridiculously honest.

If I don't like something, YOU WILL KNOW, for sure. Not because I'm gonna make you notice it by the way I act, BUT BECAUSE I'M GONNA TELL YOU, right at your face. That's the way I was raised and I'm sorry, you should probably blame my parents for it. Sometimes I've been at the dangerous limit between honesty and pure rudeness. It would be just ok if my "not-to" list wasn't as stupidly long as it is, and not so filled with nonsense-based points.

3. Punctual is not exactly my second name.

I get late basically EVERYWHERE. I was born with a 2-week delay (true story), so go figure. Not only that, but I have also a crazy wild imagination which derives to an overflowing creative spirit, SO I MAKE UP THE MOST INCREDIBLE, AWESOME EXCUSES.

4. I'm a mess of a person.

I swear. A lot. Like all the time. Even when I'm not supposed to, I do. And I know it just sounds awful on girls, but I seriously don't give a shit about it. It's like "hey, it's me, if you don't fucking like it then don't talk to me, bitch". Also, I'm not organized, my room is a mess, my life is a mess, my lifestyle is a mess, even my relationships are a damn fucking mess. I'm a declared quitter, a coward, and a lazy cow.

5. If procrastinating was a professional degree, I'll have a Master on it.

You're reading the proof.
So, I'm gonna die poor.

Please reconsider, for your own good, PLEASE.

Just follow the highway.

You DO know that everything comes to an end. I used to think that end between us had to be the death of one of us, that nothing else could make us fall apart from each other.
But I was wrong.
What really has dragged us apart is my own path. The road I've started to follow. And YOUR road. The one you don't want to walk. The one you keep avoiding no matter what.
I can't pretend I will follow the same road as you'll do, or that I can walk it for you. You have to realize that on your own, and TAKE THE WHEEL. For your own sake. And I'm sure you're gonna be happy as long as you do that, because in that moment you will be LIVING YOUR LIFE. Just like that. It doesn't matter if you live it with someone else, I just want to see you fullfilling your dreams and getting everything you want.
I don't care about the rest, as long as you don't stay at the same place you're now. 'Cause then I would be sad. So please carry on. There's many surprises awaiting you down there.
Me? I will carry on. I am trying to take my wheel whilst making some sense out of what happens around me. I try my best every day to live my life in a way it makes an impact on something, somewhere or someone. And you know what? I'm enjoying it like crazy. Even though you're not here by my side. Even though I have to give a little extra something to smile and be as cool as always. Like if nothing had happened. It did, and it hurts, 'cause ripping you away from my life broke something inside me. I'm not sure if you and me are two parts of an equal but I do know that I LOVED YOU and I gave you EVERYTHING I had. 'Cause that's who I am, I can't give half of myself. And that's probably wrong but it's a long habit I can't get rid off that easily. I guess I would never do.
Luckily we both will keep living and the roads of life have many curves. Maybe one of those curves drags us close to each other again someday. Maybe not. But meanwhile just LIVE. That's the only favor I'm asking. Don't wait for nothing, not even for me. I'm going forward. And I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow.

(Perdón por amar un buen tu foto, neta perdón. Here's the author's FB fanpage)

My life right now.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON WITH MY LIFE.
I might tell you later, once I figure it out.
I need alcohol, SO MUCH.

Just me and my obsession with buses.

To-do list when I'm riding the bus back home.

That bus gets really REALLY crowded at the time I'm heading back home, so I just made a little list of things I have to do BEFORE, DURING, and AFTER the bus ride. Yeah, maybe I'm just a freaky bitch.

BEFORE:

1. Quick check from the outside of the bus if it is HEAVILY crowded. Because always, on that bus stop where I take it, waiting with me is the same fucking load of people who's ALREADY on the bus. So if it's really crowded I wait for the next one.

2. Check the time. If it's too late (usually bus service stops circa 9:00 pm) there's NO WAY I could avoid getting into popping eye hardcore filled buses.

3. Make sure my school Id. (for discount) is at hand but not VISIBLE to the driver, because those sneaky fuckers will run away from you if they see the Id, preferring not to give you a lift and lose a passenger than charge a reduced ride fee.

DURING:

1. The very first thing I do is sit on the best spot possible. usually I rather the middle back of the bus, since I can control and check the seats stock nicely over there and it's not that bumpy as the last two or three last rows of seats. AND it's close to the back door.

This is a poorly drawn version of where I always choose to seat.
Exaggerated. Of course I'm not really that cute.

2.Check the number of seats available and make a quick statistic of the number of people getting up and down at each stop to know if by the end of my ride I will be able to get off comfortable and properly or if I will have to get my shit together and make use of violence.

3.At this point I either doze off thinking about the crabs or go all nervous and pissed and think about the best way out in case of the end of the world coming, or a zombie apocalypse, or many terrible possible scenarios.

4.Stand cautiously from my seat and quickly check if nothing fell from me or I'm forgetting something on my way to ring the bus bell.

5.Make the stop considering the time lapses between the ringing, the monkey driver NOTICING I'm ringing, and the time it takes for him to slow down and stop without hurting anyone around. Then I jump off, kneel on the ground, cry, and kiss it fervorously.

AFTER.

1. Finally, when I'm safe and standing on solid ground check again for cellphone, keys, purse, or other stuff I had before the ride. Also check if there's no lice from the headrests of the bus or any strange object on me.

I SWEAR I DON'T NEED MENTAL HELP.

The pros and cons of a dead mobile.

Two weeks ago (aprox., I am REALLY lost in time and space since the following event occurred) I was having lunch with my boyfriend at a local market seafood joint, and I (of course) didn't finished my grape soda. I closed the bottle and cleverly STUCK IT INTO MY BAG.
The bottle was not properly closed.
So it was GRAPE SODA FUCKING FLOOD inside my bag, where I keep my keys, my wallet, some useless variable junk, makeup... and of course, --it can't be any other way 'cause I'm so terribly smart--, my FUCKING MOBILE.
So long story short, my mobile is an asshole who doesn't like grape soda at all and died. In my mind it was like those kid's toys which emulates cellphones but they have water in them and with a couple buttons you can make the water flow to move little plastic rings and make them go trough some little plastic sticks, but instead of water mine had grape soda and instead of two big buttons it had a qwerty keyboard.

Anyways, I've been living my life without a mobile, and if it wasn't because of internets, I would be completely isolated and will probably be living at some farm feeding on my chickens and pigs and having kids. But I don't want to be an unfair pesimistic jerk so I made a pro-con list of having no cellphone.

It does sucks.

I HATE riding the bus. I HATE IT (updated)

I just had to say it.

*UPDATE* I forgot to tell you guys, tomorrow (19 july) at 2:00 pm (México hour) we'll be doing a live stream from a Wolf Season rehearsal over Twitcam, make sure to follow @wolfseasonband on twitter so you can watch it! :D

Democracy is kidnapped

We're sad, but not dead.

WE WON'T STOP MOVING

Is it all ending or is it just beggining?

There's just a couple days ahead before the end of electoral campaigns for the next President of Mexican Republic. Republic? Really? Or are we just stumbling with the overwhelming future of yet another 71 years of domination and repressive measures?  a dictatorship held by many names? are we just going to sit and watch some guy do whatever the hell he wants with our life and our future just because he's "handsome"?
NO. I won't.
Some people say that  Andres Manuel López Obrador is just the same as all the fuckin' politics out there, that he's just there for the money, that he's deceiving us all. They say he's another Hugo Chavez, another Castro. That he's gonna lead us to poverty, that he'll take our posessions and give them to poor people, disregarding the fact that you probably fought many years to have a home, or a car, or whatever the hell you want.
They're wrong. Maybe he's not the "true change" he announces, but he's gonna set a precedent. He's gonna tell people THEY HAVE THE POWER TO BRING TRUE CHANGE. Maybe we'll start thinking different. Maybe our people's image of themselves will change.
I certainly hope so.
I took this pictures in the campaign closure at my town.
Some of them are quite pretty.

This rooster is a traditional craftsmanship from a nearby town called "la Cañada". 

The expectant crowd

Don't forget 2-oct-68
Don't forget Atenco.
#YoSoy132
AMLO 2012

Gloomy Sunday

I don't know what to write about today.
Probably you'll say "well if you don't have anything interesting to say it's better not to fill your blog with garbage"... but if I don't write anything the stats will fall and I will be sad so I prefer making you read any rubbish that goes out of my mind. Yeah I'll probably come up with something to write about in further paragraphs.
My life lately has been like frozen up. School is finally coming to an end, I'm going to present a few extra exams, social service, and I will be officially out of college. Some paperwork after, I will have my title (which won't do shit for me, actually) and I will be on the search for my second career and a job. BUT college politics are at the fullest as each faculty is electing their directors and campus administrators are allegedly wanting to mess with the elections and stuff and everything is kinda slowing down, I don't even know where my auditions are or when they will be. I haven't study a single bit. I just want to forget about everything and everyone and just move the fuck on. But apparently I will be stucked there another year.
On another matters we should be getting an appointment next week with a cool guy nicknamed Pastas. He's an audio engineer who did all the sonorization for a show at Zeppelin Music Factory. We will be rehearsing with him and making general structures of our songs, that he wants to record. So, soon we'll have material decent enough for massive distribution and maybe even a music video for promotion, so look forward to it, it'll be fun.
See? I did came up with something in the end.

Tomorrow's monday :(
Hey if you could give me a hype in lookbook.nu it'll be awesome: http://lookbook.nu/look/3570349-As-simple-as-that :D

Yeah WHATEVER.

Maybe I'm not for you after all. Maybe it was all just a whim of yours. Maybe I'm just here holding on, chewing on whatever you have for me, the few spare bits you have inside you because I'm a hopeless stupid.
I don't know what it needs to be done for you to realize. Or maybe I'm the selfish bastard who wants just everything, every shit you have for me, or every rose. Maybe I should not be punishing myself for this. But maybe I'm just too fucking self-destructive.

I have a memory. I remember I died and make it to paradise, and it's not what they describe.

There was no magic, nor life was all colorful.

For much time I watched winged beings pass around me, with happy but blurry faces,

knowing joy but not love.

The experiences I had beside you, to came to know you, allowing you to be the only one to

truly know me, to be able to explore each other and lost ourselves in the original sin

is not an example of what is love.

Pity them, the angels and demons, they don't know how to recognize love when they have it

in front of them, 'cause many times you've been just between them.

But I notice, looking into your eyes I find love just the way it is... beautiful and perfect.

I have a memory. That I died and never again I saw the paradise in your eyes, for since the

very first time I saw it, you left me blind.

So this is what's all about huh?
You need to lose me first?
Maybe I got here too late?
HOW LONG MUST I WAIT for this kind of words come out of your mind, dedicated to me?
NEVERMIND. Who wants your poetry anyways?
HERE'S YOUR FUCKING ANGEL.

I hate this bitch. SERIOUSLY.

Maybe Mexico is not even close to what you think it is.

Every country lives its own reality. As you already know I'm from Mexico.
Mexico's reality is way more different than what people all over the world thinks. What I've seen is that there's a severe case of ignorance -imo pretty justifiable- of the things my country represents nowadays. What I'm about to do is to tell you all guys a different perspective of what you probably had heard.
I'm just showing you the big picture. Every single day in the news you hear about dying people. Missing people. The count rises up to hundreds of thousands. You've probably heard that there's a war going on. And the numbers support that allegation, but it's not a CIVIL war. It's a DRUG war, held by the GOVERNMENT, and CIVIL victims. You probably wonder if we can go out to the street, attend to school, play gigs or go to the movies. Yes, you can have somehow a "normal" life. In certain places. At certain hours. Lucky me, I live in a peaceful state, but I can't ignore what people (friends or family) goes trough every single day. Even here we live fearing that someday us, or our best friend or maybe our cousin gets killed by an armed commando while going home riding the bus. The worst part of it is that no matter how convinced you are that your cousin Juan was the last person you'd expect to be implied on anything dangerous. Juan was just at the wrong place and time, but what the media an the government would say is that he was just a collateral victim, in the best case. In the worst case he would be treated as a justiced criminal. There would be no investigation and no justification to his family whatsoever.
What I can see about my country this days is one of the most horrible portraits of a Western movie where there's no good guy. And every single one of us mexicans (and people all over the world) should be well aware of this. We gotta live everyday prepared to fight for your life. Either you fight or run or die.  And I'm amazed that musicians like me or artists like my friends are still able to overcome all this panic paralysis and produce magnificent works.
It is because all of this wild wild west ambient that I decided to write a song about this subject. We released it on live shows and people acceptance was so good tghat we decided to make a single out of it. Our first single. This would probably be the best way for us to show the world the opinion they've never heard: PEOPLE'S opinion. "Can you feel the heath? Could you stay alive at least tonight?"