Just me and my obsession with buses.

To-do list when I'm riding the bus back home.

That bus gets really REALLY crowded at the time I'm heading back home, so I just made a little list of things I have to do BEFORE, DURING, and AFTER the bus ride. Yeah, maybe I'm just a freaky bitch.

BEFORE:

1. Quick check from the outside of the bus if it is HEAVILY crowded. Because always, on that bus stop where I take it, waiting with me is the same fucking load of people who's ALREADY on the bus. So if it's really crowded I wait for the next one.

2. Check the time. If it's too late (usually bus service stops circa 9:00 pm) there's NO WAY I could avoid getting into popping eye hardcore filled buses.

3. Make sure my school Id. (for discount) is at hand but not VISIBLE to the driver, because those sneaky fuckers will run away from you if they see the Id, preferring not to give you a lift and lose a passenger than charge a reduced ride fee.

DURING:

1. The very first thing I do is sit on the best spot possible. usually I rather the middle back of the bus, since I can control and check the seats stock nicely over there and it's not that bumpy as the last two or three last rows of seats. AND it's close to the back door.

This is a poorly drawn version of where I always choose to seat.
Exaggerated. Of course I'm not really that cute.

2.Check the number of seats available and make a quick statistic of the number of people getting up and down at each stop to know if by the end of my ride I will be able to get off comfortable and properly or if I will have to get my shit together and make use of violence.

3.At this point I either doze off thinking about the crabs or go all nervous and pissed and think about the best way out in case of the end of the world coming, or a zombie apocalypse, or many terrible possible scenarios.

4.Stand cautiously from my seat and quickly check if nothing fell from me or I'm forgetting something on my way to ring the bus bell.

5.Make the stop considering the time lapses between the ringing, the monkey driver NOTICING I'm ringing, and the time it takes for him to slow down and stop without hurting anyone around. Then I jump off, kneel on the ground, cry, and kiss it fervorously.

AFTER.

1. Finally, when I'm safe and standing on solid ground check again for cellphone, keys, purse, or other stuff I had before the ride. Also check if there's no lice from the headrests of the bus or any strange object on me.

I SWEAR I DON'T NEED MENTAL HELP.